💎Update Blog💎 Memories & CF

                 💎💎💎💎Update💎💎💎💎

In WV they weren't really sure what to think of my memory issues. Luckily, the doctors here do know what they are doing, which sucks in a way. 

I am just learning that antibiotics and a couple other meds that I've been on since, before I can remember has a crazy side effect that us unbelievable rare. 

💣Of course its rare, wouldn't ya know I get that side effect. I mean why not?

Anyway, it's not only one medication but a combo so, I wouldn't worry too much about it happening to you. These meds have my long and short term memories fading away. From what I was told it will only being getting worse. 

💭If you ask me if I remember something 9 times out of 10 I don't.

My solution is to start a memory journal and I really, really need your help. If you have memories(good or bad) that stand out and I'm in them, please message me and tell me what it is so, I can include it into my memory journal. If we have photos together send them too. Please, don't keep my past from me by not helping me. 

Sadly, I've always been very nostalgic and I'm not sure how that's going to work now. 

       🐡🐡🐡Old Post About Memories 

I often find myself staring blank into a wall when someone says "Do you remember that?" "We had so much fun back then" or even "You were such a bitch I hated you". Sometimes I lie and just agree with people instead of admitting I simply do not remember.

I am not 100% positive on this, however, I do think that Cystic Fibrosis, medications, and a slight form of PTSD is to blame. Up until college if there isn't a photo documenting an event, I find it hard and almost impossible to remember a lot of things.

★Which is why I now take photos of everything no matter the reason, day, or event. If not I would not have any memories at all. Even some events from Hooters and California, if there wasn't a photo it didn't happen. I do not have a memory of a lot of things that I should. I have done so much to retrieve photos from my friends, Hooters, and California and I come up short. Although at least one photo if not more was taken EVERY day I can't seem to find them.

Stories like "When I first met you in kindergarten, you hit me with a Fisher-Price frying pan" or "Do you remember asking me, If you were adopted don't you have to leave?" It honestly breaks my heart that I do not remember these things. I have to just shake my head as if to say that moment wasn't worth remembering and I feel terrible and cannot control it.

I will say I know and am the first one to own up and admit I was, well a bitch and even a bully when I was in school. I know it and understand that I still can be a bitch if need be but I was also young, stupid, and unaware of what my words could cause.

★I do know about me making fun of someone for the number of barrettes in their hair in elementary school. Only because I have heard the story a few times do I "remember" it. I personally do not remember saying it at all. Although I know what was said and why. Honestly, it hurts my heart thinking about it now, although it was over 15 years ago.

👭👬👫I really only remember talking to roughly 4-6 different people on a regular and none of which were in the same clique. I apologize I don't remember more people.

I guess the issue that I am coming up against is now is I am slowly getting sicker needing more antibiotics and it seems to happening more.  

A memory, time, friend, or the moment is lost and I can't bring it back by myself.  So I am asking you to help me remember. Please, if you have a good or even bad memory of me, please share it with me. Send me a message on FB if you want. Even better if you have a photo that may have 10 inches of dust on it, please send it my way. I'd love to copy it and send it back.

★Luckily, with social media this should easy to do and I can share in the memories with you instead of being ashamed that I just don't remember.

Forgetfully remembering,
   Sandi

For more about me and my journey follow me on Facebook!

♥I honestly do not remember any of these photos only the stories I was told about them. The Kennywood photo, I have absolutely no memory or clarity of.

My bucket list!

We all see movies where people who are sick or old have a list of things to do before they die. Basically because out of the entire population those two types of people are in tune with the reality of death while the majority of healthy younger people believes they are unsinkable so to speak. I have been giving it a lot of thought and after making most of my childhood dreams come true, it's now time to attempt to make the more obtainable adult dreams come true.

So here it goes, I know a lot of people read my blogs so if anyone knows how to help me achieve these goals don't hesitate to assist! ;)

♥Be in two places at once. Yes, it is possible if you are a chic flick lover and can go back to Mandy Moore's movie "A Walk To Remember"
♥The upside down kiss in the rain. Nothing is more intimate as kissing in the rain, but there is nothing as cute, sweet, and gushy as that of a Spiderman kiss! 
♥Be a member of the mile high club. Yes, that may be a little TMI and I apologize for any kiddos who now need an explanation, however, it is something I hope one day it will happen. lol

Attend Beauty School

Own my own salon named "Hair Candy"

♥Own and operate my own old fashioned candy store and name it "Sandi's Candi's"
♥Live anywhere but WV again. I miss the beaches of NC and CA. The big city living and bright lights. I want that rush hour traffic. Yes, I am insane. 

♥Visit all 50 states

♥Go to as many beaches as possible
♥To give birth to my own child, which may never be possible, but it is on my list.
♥To at least walk a mile on the AT (Appalachian trail)
♥Meet BB King. I know what 27 year old wants to meet BB King? I do! I want to have a photo of myself, him and Lucille!!
♥Be on the cover of Rolling Stone. Ok, ok, I will settle for the cover of any magazine sold on newsstands nationwide!
♥Have a song written about my life and struggle and possibly sang by George Straight. That may be a hard one to accomplish.
♥Go to and be invited backstage at a WWE event.
♥Be known for CF all over the world. Even if it is simply my "Always Smile" motto.
♥Celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary. Which means July 19th, 2019
♥Have my family be proud of me. I mean legitimately proud of the person I am.
♥Help others no matter the situation.
♥Be on a talk show! Preferably Ellen for CF awareness.
♥Somehow I want to sit on Abraham Lincoln's lap in Washington, D.C.!  Yes, this is a fairly impossible feat, however, I can somehow make it happen.
♥Ride in a hot air balloon.
♥Have a picnic in San Francisco.
♥Make it to Italy to see where my family comes from. I want to get a taste of my Italian heritage.
♥Stay in a cabin in the woods somewhere with my man and my dog for an entire summer. Just the quiet,  beautiful scenery to relax.
♥Become a Best Selling Author 

♥Be able to be a foster parent.
♥Be covered in tattoos, some meaningful and some totally pointless.

♥Get my 65 Roses sleeve tattoo.

♥Become a Harley mechanic. Which is a little over a year of schooling.

♥Live happily ever after!
★Continue to prove the doctors wrong.

Now, as most of you know I had a similar list with different things I wanted to do from a young age and was able to make them all happen. I know with my personality, way with words, and the will to keep going even when I am told no a hundred times, I will make this happen.

☆Already accomplished!!

♥Graduated from High School. A dream from a very young age.★ACCOMPLISHED in 2005

♥Go to college! A dream from a very young age. ★ACCOMPLISHED at age 18 with a sorority kicker. Alpha Sigma Tau #141!

♥Work at Hooters a dream I had after making a bet with my father. ★ACCOMPLISHED at the age of 20.

♥Sponsor A Make A Wish Kid to Hawaii. A dream I acquired after I myself was sent to Hawaii at age 16.- ★ACCOMPLISHED at age 26!!

♥Work for the Playboy Mansion! A dream from the age of 17 - ★ACCOMPLISHED at age 24! 

♥Model on a runway in Hollywood, CA. A dream from the age of 10. ★ACCOMPLISHED at age 24.

♥Model in LA, California. A dream from the age of 10. ★ACCOMPLISHED at age 23.

♥Be published because of modeling. A dream from the age of 10. ★ACCOMPLISHED at age 16. For several publications, advertisements, and calendars.

♥Live in California -★ACCOMPLISHED at the age of 23.

♥Meet several famous people. -★ACCOMPLISHED at the age of 21 and counting.

♥Tell my story to whoever will listen.-★ACCOMPLISHED Everyday!

♥Change at least one person's outlook on life. -★ACCOMPLISHED!

♥Have a loving man, who supports even the hospital stays. ★ACCOMPLISHED at the age of 24, on September 16th, 2011! 

♥Start a Non-profit organization for ALL Rare and uncommon disease awareness. A Dream from the age of 18. ★ACCOMPLISHED at the age of 25, Ribbons Of Hope!

♥Be published in tattoo magazines. A dream from the age 16. ★ACCOMPLISHED at the age of 26 and counting.

♥Be on the cover of a magazine. A dream from the age of 10. -Work in progress.

♥Become a nationally published writer. ★ACCOMPLISHED

at the age of 26 and counting.

★Take the time and write a list of goals. Start out small accomplish them and then aim big. Shoot for the rings of Saturn because the stars are too easy to see.

Always Dreaming,
  Sandi
For more information on CF or my journey, please like me on Facebook!

My first bucket list-ACCOMPLISHED

Smokers & CF

I have been slacking here I have so much going on. However I need to vent and this is more of a personal CF vent. Hopefully I can touch anyone who may be in my position.

My parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews all smoke. Most of my friends smoke, my soon to be husband (in 20 days) he smokes cigars. I have no problem with it at all.

The problem I have with it is when people will look at me and treat me like a four year old who did something wrong. Then tells me to go to another room so they can finish their cigarettes. 

NO not anymore!

DO NOT INVITE ME IF;
     ♥I do not warrant that small length of time for you not to smoke to be with you. Just because you will NEED a cigarette.
    ♥The entire time I am near you and the wind blows you panic acting like your hurting my lungs. In reality that really bothers me.
    ♥If your first thought was "Damn it Sandi is coming so I can't smoke that pack in an hour like I would want to."
  

DO INVITE ME IF;
   ♡You care enough to wait for the next cigarette until after I leave your house.
   ♡You are curious and ask, "Hey Sandi is my smoke bothering you?"

My answer will be a laugh and say no you're ok. Why? Because I am 27 years old if I physically do not want to be around smoke. My lungs and legs know where the door is! I do not need to be talked to like a 4 year old and ordered around as to where I should go.

When you act like that it only makes me feel like you do not care about me at all. The only thing being cared about at all is your nicotine fix. Then simply leave me out of the party. Why show me around and not even be around me because of cigarettes? Doesn't make sense to me at all.

You would think I would be used to it my parents smoked my entire life. In my room, house, car, everything. Of course that was an older time lol. It never really bothered me to a bad point. It is more of the actions or words being said that bothered me more than someone and their addictions.

I guess it makes me feel like I am hindering their smoking experience.  That will only make sense to another Cystic. Lol

No, Thank You,
  Sandi