Parental Advisory
The sole purpose of this blog is to provide sexual information regarding women with Cystic Fibrosis for those who want information. Parents must evaluate the maturity level of their children. Please judge it's content and make sure that it is suitable or not. If not, I suggest they do not read this particular blog.
It is my belief that all of age Cystic's have a right to honest answers on a personal level, about sexual experiences. The same way that they have access to information about respiratory systems or digestion issues.
★Ok so now that I have gotten that out of the way and everyone feels that much more awkward about the whole blog. "Let's talk about sex"
♥Mom turn away from the blog immediately!
Since I can remember I have head, "Oh my, can you have sex?" "What about ayour lungs?" "Do you get winded?" All questions are warranted and make perfect sense. Yes, is the simple answer. We have no reason to not have a sexual relationship, just as any Tom, Dick, or Sally would. The real question is tolerance, want, desire, or need.
★Mind you I can only speak from personal experiences and all experiences, partners, and situations just the same as Cystics are different!
When I was younger and coming into that part of my life and was "ready" for sex, I wasn't ready at all mentally. I think that is more common than not among many young females regardless of having CF. It is a difficult thing when you are really not sure what is even going on.
☆None of us actually want to learn about sex from our parents, so we either learn on our own, which I do not recommend, from friends, from TV, or asking questions from another source.
I was never informed of the medical problems that can be made from something as silly a sexual positions! Some situations can cause a Cystic to cough up blood afterwards. Normally this can happen in a straining position, putting pressure onto your lungs, having your legs over your head is an example.
I was also unaware of the fact that mucus effects more than my lungs and my digestive tract but also my cervix. Which is one of the complications for Cystic females to become pregnant. For more information on fertility please read CF & Fertility.
★Pregnancy is possible for some CFers, unfortunately not for me. The path to reproduction and CF is a difficult one.
I have looked around and have not found anything other than medical rambling that I really don't understand. Maintaining to the subject matter of CF and sex. It seems to be such a taboo topic, but it is part of who we are and the only way most of us are here.
I figured I was 26 and have had a few sexual encounters in my life. I could try to share my experiences with sex on a personal level for you, without the medical mumbo jumbo.
Making sure your positions are not going to affect your breathing is a great key to Cystic's being able to be intimate. The other key is knowing your partner is aware of what is going on and is willing to stick by you, even when you need to take mini breaks do to shortness of breath. After all it should be a thing that you do together, and you both should be in it together for each other.
★You may find particularly there is a position that is best for you and you alone. Which can get boring for your partner if they do not understand. For me, it's strictly missionary or an occasional shower scene. Being the one to make all of the moves just gets too tiresome, and very upsetting for me.
I am not sure how many CFers will understand this, but a simple cheese mat actually makes things easier if you are laying on them during sexual intercourse. This will also help for sensations and your partner for not getting as bored with the same old thing every time. A "cheese mat" is essentially a triangle shaped pillow.
☆You can get cheese mats through any gymnastics place, I even think they have thefunctions, it in the workout section, or you can order them online. They do sell them in sex stores, but they are very expensive if you go that route. What these mats do will shift your pelvis in an upward position. Leaving you lying comfortably without losing your breath as quickly, for more pleasure.
It will basically put you automatically in trendelenburg which I tricked you because now you are also doing airway clearance! While enjoying an intimate time with your spouse.
♥In the past, I thought if I actually told my partners I was too sick and didn't feel well enough to fool around, they would leave me. I would feel bad and just throw my hands up and say fine whatever I was not wanting to start any controversy. So it was just do it, go to bed, and not talk to him again until I felt better.
Nearly 10 years after becoming sexually active I no longer feel this way. Which is actually very liberating having that confidence in your relationship.
Being sexually active since I was 17 I have found that some men, not all by any means. Do not worry if you can breathe properly, or that you may need to take a break. It seems most of the time it is all about them depending on the man himself and your sexual circumstances. Sorry fellas I don't mean to throw you under the bus like I said not ALL feel this way. However, when you are dealing with sex and a person who has low lung functions, it gets complicated and very difficult. We tend to get frustrated very easily about everything in life, even more so when it comes to things going on in the bedroom not working how we have expected.
Sometimes I go through my day and after cleaning or a day out of the apartment I am just too tired. Especially the first few days right out of the hospital. That reason for myself and every Cystic female normally isn't just a "line" to shut men up. So CF hubby's please understand it is our know, I and not the typical "I have a headache" excuse . It seriously is coming from our lungs and lack of energy that we just are too tired. We can only do so much during the day that we really want nothing to do other than go to bed some nights!
Me personally I can go forever without wanting or needing to have sex, mainly because I am just so worn out and my body is so tired and in pain that all of my energy was taken out on just making dinner. The thought of sex does not cross my mind like a "healthy" woman's would. Keep in mind this does not apply to all CF women in fact many have a strong sex drive.
★It is a normal thing for females in general to have a low sex drive. Adding disease and pain will add up to having even less of a sex drive. Ladies it is perfectly normal if you feel like you just do not have the desire for sex.
You have to want your partner in more than just sexual ways, understand your partner, and not rush them. By rushing a Cystic through sex you are ruining the entire intimate time for us. Making sure that it is still enjoyable but also possible is the most important part when having sex with a Cystic!
★It isn't always the easiest thing in the world but it is worth it and means more when you are helpful and patient with us.
You can also do a treatment afterwards it sounds silly I know. People say that sex is a good source of exercise and that is true. It can also serve as a mock treatment by shaking your lungs to where you get gunk up afterwards. I know I know who wants to think about sex and mucus right, completely changes the whole image of it.
★ I am a girl that looks at everything as a way to help my lungs.
Now days its almost a turn on asking for my fiancé to hook up my oxygen if I am laying in bed, its almost like a dirty word at this point. I do feel like I am neglecting him some days as I was able to do a lot more when we first got together. However, he does remind me that sex isn't what he loves about me. I'm thankful that I have found someone who doesn't mind that it takes forever with several breaks or that I feel I am unbelievably unattractive with the oxygen on. He understands, supports, and loves me for me.
♥Which I do believe everyone out there will find that person one day, Cystic's or not. That is all that matters. When it is the right person they will be with you through the hard times and the times where you have no desire, from being to tired.
Desire love,
Sandi
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