No matter when I am feeling low or depressed I smile. If it's a real smile or a fake smile it doesn't really tend to matter. Smiling for me triggers a memory it could be something old, so random, and out of the blue or something that just happened yesterday. Yet, it still has its way of always making me smile or laugh about whatever that memory may be. Trust me, I know its hard to just get the thoughts of "why me" "I'm all alone" "No on understands" and so on out of your mind. The idea's that you're alone and no one around you will ever understand what you are going through will stay there as long as you let them. If you don't try to talk to others, a REAL friend, parents, doctors or even venture online to other Cystic's.
*The internet has been such a great place to come and gather with other Cystic's, relate, ask questions, and learn more about CF. You know that there are other people that are feeling the same way. You may just never get to actually meet them.
All anyone in your family or your friends can say is "I am sorry" or "I know how you feel". Um, no! No you don't and you never will! I hate when people hear me say something about my mental stability and then try to comfort me by relating and "know where I am coming from".
CF is the ONLY disease that pretty much attacks every single part of your body. Your lungs, pancreas, kidneys, digestive system, reproductive system, enzyme, hormones, blood sugar, heart rate, oxygen level, vitamin levels, sinus cavities, and our fingers and toes for crying out loud. It affects our growth, teeth, size, weight, height, sweat, and smell. There is not a thing that isn't affected by CF. Heart, muscles, and mental health are just splashing backs from everything else, so they are also included in the whole system.
When you have one thing going on, everything else seems to want to back it up and jump on in. This disease doesn't work like most, you don't gradually get better or worse, or find a cure. You are a roller coaster of health, its up and down, back and forth, twists and turns, and just when you think it's over, there is a tunnel you have to go through to get to the finish line. That is actually an illusion because we can never fully be cured at this moment in medical science. Once you think you know what's going on and how your body will react to life, it has changed on you just for the fun of it. We are constant puzzles, doctors cannot seem to find the right pieces to put together and I most of the time they even just take educated guesses.
NOW lets add to it the personal life, family, love, and friends. Because everything going on to a Cystic medically isn't enough. You have to deal with this crazy world and its ups and downs twists and turns. It is almost like a huge slap in the face, knowing there is nothing you can do to change it.
People are going to come in and out of your life just the same if you're sick or not. Those same people are going to want to hurt and help you're weather your sick or not. It's the ones that stay with you and help you through.
The ones that never utter "I understand" or "I can relate" it's the ones that just take a step back, breathe, and listen to you, give you a hug, and sit in silence with you because there is nothing any of us can do, but SMILE. Plus in the end smiling is what looks best on everyone, anyone can rock a smile. Tears are never pretty and they just make your mascara run or you face puffy and red.
So lets face it, shit happens in this life of a Cystic and it happens all at once. Never stopping so you must get a grip on it now, before your mental health takes control. If you keep a smile on your face and remember something happy from your life you should be ok in this crazy messed up mixed up world. Never be afraid to reach out for help.
I do want to mention, people with Cystic Fibrosis are the strongest people in the world. We are amazing, not to toot my own horn, but I mean toot toot. Each of you can look at life, see what you've gone through, grab your horn and play it as loud as you can. We go through hell and back to make sure we stay here and not there!!
ALWAYS SMILE,
Sandi
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So lets face it, shit happens in this life of a Cystic and it happens all at once. Never stopping so you must get a grip on it now, before your mental health takes control. If you keep a smile on your face and remember something happy from your life you should be ok in this crazy messed up mixed up world. Never be afraid to reach out for help.
I do want to mention, people with Cystic Fibrosis are the strongest people in the world. We are amazing, not to toot my own horn, but I mean toot toot. Each of you can look at life, see what you've gone through, grab your horn and play it as loud as you can. We go through hell and back to make sure we stay here and not there!!
ALWAYS SMILE,
Sandi